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The Basement
An open letter asking for some much needed advice.
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<blockquote data-quote="Eric Cagle" data-source="post: 57167" data-attributes="member: 277"><p>Re: An open letter asking for some much needed advice.</p><p></p><p>Hi John,</p><p></p><p>Boy does most of this thread sound familiar. In the end it all comes down to priorities and most of all what your priorities are at this particular time. Keep in mind that those may change and what you do will hopefully change to match, otherwise you will not be happy. I toured with a band that I loved for almost no money and have no regrets because every day with them was a day that I lived doing what I loved to do most in life at that time. I also recently gave up a job touring with a band that I loved that paid me great money, actually more than I am making now, because I did not want to be away from home that much at this particular point in my life. Again I have absolutely no regrets because my days are spent where I want to be most at this time. The trick is to balance it all each day, each week, each month, etc. If your dream in your heart of hearts is to be on tour and be able to make a decent living at it, the opportunity will present itself if you keep walking in that direction. If your priority at this time is to not be away from your wife that much then make the changes you have to but make sure that is where your heart is for now, otherwise you will be resentful and that is just as bad if not worse than being away. </p><p></p><p>My relationship survived several tours and many weekends away because she was always at the forefront of my thoughts. Our phone conversations each day and our limited time together was always intense, a constant reminder of why we were together in the first place. I have to add that she was very supportive of me being in a career that made me happy even though she never liked it when I was not home at night. I also never lost sight of the fact that it could be perceived as me off having fun while she was at home working so I always made her time with me important and focused. Learn what her "love language" is and speak it to her. That has to be as important as your sound career if your marriage is equally important to you. I learned that a simple and small gift from the road told her that I was thinking about her while I was away. For someone else it might be 10 phone calls a day and by all means take every call from her even it is only to say that you are setting up or something and you will call her back as soon as you can. If you tell her that then you had better call back as soon as you can or sooner. Self explanatory.</p><p></p><p>My financial stability survived because I made a decision to "let go" of my dream with the first band I mentioned and regroup to get my financial house in order. A hard decision at the time but one I also don't regret. My stress level went way way down and as I regrouped I was able to buy more and better gear and when I started doing shows again I actually began to make money. Actually enough money that my 'hobby sound company" has bought its own gear and given me some nice paychecks occasionally. In the financial word the bottom line is the bottom line. We all have to be able to pay our bills somehow.</p><p> </p><p>It sounds like you might have been through the worst of it financially if the band is signed now and getting some better gigs. Touring is fun but tough on a homelife and not for everyone. I feel for you but I am sure you will make the right decisions for yourself at this time and even if it appears that you did not, learn from it and it will have been the right decision based on what you knew at the time. Follow your Heart, Balance, No Regrets, Many Faders and Knobs.</p><p></p><p>-Eric</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Eric Cagle, post: 57167, member: 277"] Re: An open letter asking for some much needed advice. Hi John, Boy does most of this thread sound familiar. In the end it all comes down to priorities and most of all what your priorities are at this particular time. Keep in mind that those may change and what you do will hopefully change to match, otherwise you will not be happy. I toured with a band that I loved for almost no money and have no regrets because every day with them was a day that I lived doing what I loved to do most in life at that time. I also recently gave up a job touring with a band that I loved that paid me great money, actually more than I am making now, because I did not want to be away from home that much at this particular point in my life. Again I have absolutely no regrets because my days are spent where I want to be most at this time. The trick is to balance it all each day, each week, each month, etc. If your dream in your heart of hearts is to be on tour and be able to make a decent living at it, the opportunity will present itself if you keep walking in that direction. If your priority at this time is to not be away from your wife that much then make the changes you have to but make sure that is where your heart is for now, otherwise you will be resentful and that is just as bad if not worse than being away. My relationship survived several tours and many weekends away because she was always at the forefront of my thoughts. Our phone conversations each day and our limited time together was always intense, a constant reminder of why we were together in the first place. I have to add that she was very supportive of me being in a career that made me happy even though she never liked it when I was not home at night. I also never lost sight of the fact that it could be perceived as me off having fun while she was at home working so I always made her time with me important and focused. Learn what her "love language" is and speak it to her. That has to be as important as your sound career if your marriage is equally important to you. I learned that a simple and small gift from the road told her that I was thinking about her while I was away. For someone else it might be 10 phone calls a day and by all means take every call from her even it is only to say that you are setting up or something and you will call her back as soon as you can. If you tell her that then you had better call back as soon as you can or sooner. Self explanatory. My financial stability survived because I made a decision to "let go" of my dream with the first band I mentioned and regroup to get my financial house in order. A hard decision at the time but one I also don't regret. My stress level went way way down and as I regrouped I was able to buy more and better gear and when I started doing shows again I actually began to make money. Actually enough money that my 'hobby sound company" has bought its own gear and given me some nice paychecks occasionally. In the financial word the bottom line is the bottom line. We all have to be able to pay our bills somehow. It sounds like you might have been through the worst of it financially if the band is signed now and getting some better gigs. Touring is fun but tough on a homelife and not for everyone. I feel for you but I am sure you will make the right decisions for yourself at this time and even if it appears that you did not, learn from it and it will have been the right decision based on what you knew at the time. Follow your Heart, Balance, No Regrets, Many Faders and Knobs. -Eric [/QUOTE]
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