Can't help myself

Saw a link to this story over on the "other" board...

The whole article is crying out for some sarcastic comments. Besides the obvious, that the kid was just a terrible singer and his abductor couldn't take it anymore...
I'm sure many would be offended if I were to comment, so I won't, but merely quote some lines from the article and you can fill in the punchlines in your heads...

"Thursday evening, community leaders held a meeting in Willie's honor, celebrating his happy ending"

"It's just emotional to me because you never know who you're going to touch,"

I had to check to make sure it wasn't from the Onion!