Do I Tip The Band?

Re: Do I Tip The Band?

Bennet,having played for many years before getting into sound,I'll give you this advice from the band's viewpoint.Go out and hear the band.Make sure you know what kind of music they play and at what volume. So when the wedding day comes, you don't expect a rock band to play pokas or turn it down because 90 year old Aunt Hilda thinks it's too loud. I would also suggest getting a band you really want,not one that will please everyone in the room.It's your and your wife's day. And get all the wedding stuff out of the way first so those that don't want to party can leave. The band I work for now played a wedding 2 years ago.When the bride was 18,she heard the band and told her parents she wanted them for her wedding reception. 6 years later we played for the reception and it was great.Even though it was a tough load in,they treated us like we were guests and everyone had a great time. Hope you too have agreat time at your reception and a long happy marriage.
 
Re: Do I Tip The Band?

Randy Gartner said:
... or turn it down because 90 year old Aunt Hilda thinks it's too loud...
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+1 on this. When we are doing wedding receptions in small rooms, the oldest people there are going to sit at the table that is nearest to or directly in front of a stack 100% of the time. And somebody is going to come and ask if it can be turned down. If space allows, try not to put any tables near or in front of a stack, or maybe go ahead and reserve tables elsewhere for "Aunt Hilda" and the likes.
 
Re: Do I Tip The Band?

Congrats Bennett
(maybe listing the location might be a dangerous idea........... We all Love and respect you, but really, who can pass up a party ?)
In my experience (20-30 weddings a year, 350 to 1500 guests)
1) no tips, and none were expected. - there have been exceptions, but few, and far between.
2) I(we) could pass on the bar, and in many cases, guests lining up drinks for the band just made more "problems" When a load-out starts at 2:30, last thing you need is tipsy "helpers". A glass of wine with supper is the most I would have, or recommend.
3) Food really, really counts. In a couple of cases, "we" were fed only salad, main course, and desert. With a 6 or 7 course spread for the invited ones, it made no difference to us. We were there to work, and the 3 courses didn't end up making us feel like stuffed pigs. Some of the 5 course "spectaculars" made the 3rd set kind of, well, sluggish.
In one, and only one case, we weren't fed at all, and the band leader didn't tell us until the second course was being served, and we had already missed the first ! That was rough. There was a KFC across the road from the hall, so the drummer and I made a food run. 7 of us huddled around the board eating fried chicken. (If I were a guest, I would have been pretty pissed at that sight / smell).
For myself, work is work. I fed myself, and did my job as expected. Professional and all that. I added 10 bucks to the band's bill for that show. The band, not so much. Sloppy playing, no "groove", a rather unspectacular performance. I think if I were the bride, I would have paid half what she owed them.
4) At my own wedding in 93, the band I was working for at the time offered to play for us. We accepted. They didn't charge us. As they couldn't do a regular gig that weekend, I felt kinda bad. I sent my brother (best man) around with some envelopes of $100 each for them, and 4 of the 6 envelopes came back. The buddy I hired to run my rig also send back his envelope. He said "You invited me and my girlfriend to your wedding, I don't want your money - but thanks for thinking of me"
Judy declared at the start of the reception that clanging on plates was not allowed. Tables had to stand up and sing a song.
Bad for us. Around 30 of our 150 guests were musicians. No shortage of songs.....
 
Re: Do I Tip The Band?

I read up on this years ago and typically, from an "etiquette" perspective, musicians are considered "guests of bride and groom" and not "help". (Though, that hasn't stopped many a wedding coordinator from treating me as such.)

My advice after having done this for about 10 years straight...

Feed them a good, hearty meal, allow them to imbibe within reason (I don't drink when working, but some do), and make sure the caterers, florists, and decorators don't put their crap all over the stage or otherwise designated "band areas."

All that said, providing the load in doesn't involve a flight of stairs (or more) no need to tip.

P.S. On the food/drink thing... I know the per plate cost of these things can be pretty exorbitant Most guys I know aren't asking for a five star meal - just something filling. A supply of subs/hoagies/grinders from the local sandwich shop and a case of beer goes a long, long way. As for alcohol - everyone has different standards here. Working "crew" I rarely if ever drink even one beer. I don't like getting dehydrated, and I'm lifting and operating heavy and expensive equipment. However, most musicians don't have those kinds of responsibilities and drink to ease jitters or otherwise. I mean, we've even played dry weddings, so it's really not an issue. But the food supply is a must IMO. If there will be no food, we really like to know well in advance so we can either bring some, or plan to make a food run. We are nearly always setting up and playing over a 8 hour period - a man's gotta eat.
 
Re: Do I Tip The Band?

Lots of good advice from everyone. I just thought I'd throw a few thoughts in there since I run a working string quartet and we do 25-30 weddings per year. We used to get tips more often, but now it's only once or twice per season. I think the economy has had something to do with that. That said, it is certainly always nice. I would say no musician would be offended to get $20 or $25 on top of their cut of the gig. If the band leader is really awesome to deal with and you want to tip him separately, then $100 would be more than generous.

Like others have said, we always like it when we are treated well and not asked to go through the kitchen and things like that. Generally, we have always been treated well but once in a while...
 
Re: Do I Tip The Band?

Karl Winkler said:
Like others have said, we always like it when we are treated well and not asked to go through the kitchen and things like that. Generally, we have always been treated well but once in a while...
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A la the Marx Brothers, when required to enter through the kitchen (and inconvenience the kitchen/wait staff) I always wanted to come out wearing cook whites complete with the tall chef's hats and play in costume.
 
Re: Do I Tip The Band?

One thing not mentioned here but 'overtime' should already be in the contract/agreement. There shouldn't be any debate about asking the band to play longer and counting pennies. It should be spelled out in the contract what an extra set and break (if applicable) will cost (and even when that decision (overtime or not) is to be made). And the time/length should already be spelled out. It might be a 15min break and 45 additional minutes for $X dollars, or 30 additional minutes of music with no break.... etc etc etc.... whatever it might be. Also, consider this in conjunction with server and venue charges.

As said previously, a tip won't be expected. If you do tip, a hundred dollar bill or two would be very nice (although remember if the band are hired guns playing alongside a bandleader/owner he could keep the tip himself. Not every band is an equal partnership).

It's not unusual for the bride and groom (not that the groom has any real say in anything with the wedding ;) ) to have a banned list of songs. Some brides just love all the cliched wedding standards and want them all while some realize they are cliches and don't want to hear "Titanic", "YMCA", etc... Try to have that figured out up front.

My experience in the wedding market was that food was negotiated ahead of time one way or the other. So the info sheet would already have that sorted out- whether it be served with guests, served a sep dinner in another room, sandwiches provided, buffet, or even "band not served food/own their own". Since getting the band fed or not didn't impact an agent's fee, depending on the agent, food might be an afterthought in the negotiations left to a question from the bandleader in an advance with the bride.

So cut thru that murkiness right away and tell the band way ahead of time what to expect for food.

Also consider when you want the band onstage and make sure their eating schedule is arranged around that if you're feeding them. It's typical that the caterer will feed the guests first if no other arrangements are made. So if the band is expected to play a dinner set then they'll be eating a cold plate during their first break (assuming they are even going to take breaks, some bands don't).

If dinner is running late and the band is last to be served it could also end up with them having little or no time to eat if the late dinner doesn't change when you expect them to start.

Some bands will have it in their contract they are to be served whatever the guests are being served. If you plan to serve them something different (and it could be you'll even feed the band in a different room) at least let them know what you'll be feeding them and make sure it's OK. They might like 3-4 large pizzas and iced sodas just fine... or not... or have a specific pizza they don't want.

Also, asking them to start later doesn't automatically mean they will play later to compensate. They will start and end on their contracted times. If you want them to wait they will still end on their contracted time.

As far as drinks I've seen it handled several ways. Some planners don't want the band at the bar at all. Sometimes there will be no restrictions. Sometimes there will be drink tickets for the band to limit the band's intake of alcohol. Sometimes there will be waters and sodas provided for the band (and no alcohol allowed). That is really up to you and the planner. If you have any worries at all about anyone in the band possibly drinking too much then by all means institute a no alcohol or limited alcohol policy upfront. Bands in the corp/wedding market will understand. They aren't there to party. And any band that bristles too much at that are playing their hand about where their priorities lie.

If there is a 'no alcohol and no bandmembers even at the bar' policy in place then make sure they have plenty of water and sodas provided backstage/sidestage. And make sure it stays stocked. That's not a bad idea anyway.
 
Re: Do I Tip The Band?

Marjan Milosevic said:
That is so f*cking complicated over there.
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Capitalism and Political Correctness have met with a very uncomfortable alliance in the wedding industry.

(The fact that *wedding* is an industry is uncomfortable in itself.)

I have a feeling that this will be one of the better weddings.
 
Re: Do I Tip The Band?

Jack Arnott said:
Capitalism and Political Correctness have met with a very uncomfortable alliance in the wedding industry.



I have a feeling that this will be one of the better weddings.
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I have a feeling that Bennett will treat the band just fine-they will enjoy playing for the event (as long a Bennett doesn't critique the mic positions :) ).

It would be a fun wedding to attend I am sure.

I love the way Bennett has the "whole weekend" laid out-for everybody to get to know each other.

Bennett- may you have a long and happy life together. And don't let your kids get involved in audio. Make them get a REAL job.
 
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