Re: When it's too loud.....
It depends. If it's actually too loud, as in, louder than you're comfortable with/the venue demands/the boss told you to turn it down, then I'd turn it down as much as I could while keeping the stage wash in balance. In many cases, ultimate ''quiet'' level is going to be determined by the drums.
If it's not actually too loud, and the person telling you to turn it down is some old lady sitting in front of the stack, I'd kindly ask her to move, or pretend to turn something down until they say ''OK, thank you''.
Whatever you have to do to keep them happy, do it, even if they're a random crowd member; you never know who will hire you for your next gig.
